My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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