You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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