Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I currently don't understand fingers.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
