can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
