If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
