they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
