sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Randomize
