Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
