My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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