Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
