we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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