i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
