Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize