This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There r osticjed everywhere
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
