So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
