So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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