he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
