What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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