Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
