Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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