Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
