go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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