I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
