i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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