i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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