Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
