that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
