All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
