thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
