can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
