Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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