I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
