How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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