I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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