im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
