she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Still dying that you shit outside
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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