Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
