My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
