I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
