So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
