doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
