The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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