come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's never too late to be topless.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Randomize
