Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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