Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You may now shotgun with the bride
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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