Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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