I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
