I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
