from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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