I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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