I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
