I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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